Last night before bed:

Me: Hey! I'm soooo excited! I've lost three pounds!!

Him: (not looking up) Oh really? Did you take a three pound dump or something?


An email exchange this morning:


----- Original Message -----

From: HDH@irritating.com

To: HDW@patientbutnotforlong.com

Sent: Thursday, March 30, 2006 6:44 AM

Subject: Wine delivery

HDW,

There is a case of wine coming UPS today.

HDH


From: HDW
Sent: Thursday, March 30, 2006 7:43 AM
To: AssHatHDH
Subject: Re: Wine delivery



I like how you used (my nickname).
You mean I've got to be here all day again??? AAAAAAAAAARGH!

(remember: I waited around all day the last time for wine that didn't show until well after 5:30 pm. Today I need to run errands and get the hell out of this house, not sit around for wine that will show up around dinnertime)


FROM: HD"gonnadiesoon"Husband
TO: HDW Goddess
Re: Wine Delivery

Lets review- here is the coding (oh former coder)

I sign it (my nickname) when I am going to shit on you.

(YourRealName) when I am just communicating something.

Sorry, if tomorrow is better, fine ... So it is no big crisis when we get it.

In addition, every time we go over (to our neighbor's) I will bring a bottle of it (opened already) so I won’t have to drink that (certain wine label) cat piss they serve. The difference is when I get to drink wine it is a big deal – given call schedules and such – when he drinks wine it is just ‘cause he ran out of Scotch.

HDH




(I should add, we hosted a little something at our house last year for the neighbors. HDH had opened some really good stuff and offered it to his friends. One guy-neighbor said, "I don't know this" and went home to get his own. Now, HDH just wants to have good wine so he can make guy-neighbor ... uncomfortable? I don't know.)

All I know, is I'm not sticking around for long today.
MARK MY WORDS.