What a week.

Bug had a great first week of Preschool. When I dropped him off the first day, he informed me, "It's okay, you go now". So I did. With no tears on either end. It was quite nice to know I was leaving him in a safe place. The only moment of upset came when he learned he didn't, after all, get to ride on the school bus.

I used to ride the school bus. I remember the day when my Bus Driver came to introduce himself at my house. I distinctly remember seeing this man on my front steps, my mom making polite conversation, and my little toddler brother (who had been in the bath) went streaking out the front door completely butt ass naked. My mom was horrified.

I remember being getting on the bus on the first day of Kindergarten, and sitting directly behind the Bus Driver's daughter. Her name was Judy. I remember thinking she had the most beautiful, long blonde hair of anyone I'd ever seen in my entire life (knocked those girls in the Breck commercial right off their pedestal). And man, she smelled SO GOOD! I wanted to be in high school right there and then.

Years later, my brother got to ride on the Bus (clothed). I remember him having a lot of trouble sitting down and staying put. On one occasion, I remember our Bus Driver yelling out, "Sit down, or I'll hit the brakes so hard you'll be wrapped around the gear shift!". I still think that's hysterical.

There's something to be said for riding a country school bus. You hit every single rut there is on a road. You bounce around. You get to know your neighbors. You tell stories about your day. You fight with your siblings, and on complete accident, kick them in the balls (really, total accident). The last day of school, you get FULL SIZE CANDY BARS and are free until September.

A complete and total right of passage.

I know eventually my son will ride a big yellow school bus somewhere. But, I admit, it kind of bums me out that he won't have the same experience I had of waiting outside in the driveway, back pack on, hearing the bus rumbling down the the county road.

Labels: memories, the bug and mommy

Heeeeeeeey! I found a bunch of old photos, and you get to see them all! Wheeee! Or most of them, anyway.



Myself and my baby brother - we appear to be at my grandmother's home in Eastern Colorado:

My dad wouldn't let me have an animal if I was in 4-H (even though we lived on a FARM, but whatever), so they settled on cake decorating. And I'll have you know I got Reserve Grand Champion that year with a cake called, "Fair Days". That's right, I ruled!

A lovely shot of me at a Church Youth Group meeting in 1990. I took it upon myself to label the back of this picture, "NASTY!":


Oh look! We have the guy who decided to love on me a bit my first year in College. What a nice guy, except for the 22 appended messages he left me on my voice mail once:

Look out, bitches!! HDW turns 21! (May I have that flat tummy back, please and thank you?):

Aw! My buddy, Tommy. This is my 23rd birthday at some club in Downtown Denver. I had just been tossed around in the air and made to do some crazy dance moves:


My bestest aunt in the world (pictured!) turned 50 in Vegas, so the rest of my family went out to help her celebrate. I'm strategically taken out my skeevy mom's ex-husband to my right. I'm crafty and smart like that:


My ex-boyfriend's uncle, Stewart. Love this guy:


I GOT MARRIED! This picture makes me laugh for many reasons, and makes me sad - the lady in the lower lefthand corner died this last year after a long ass battle with breast cancer:

Um, so. After HDH and I got married, we went with friends to Alaska for a week, touring around in a motor home. This is my visual description of a story that happened in Chicago (Shit-cago) a few weeks prior to our trip. Someday, I will recount this story for you. Until then:

BITCHES, I'm 30! You know you want me:

And here's one of me with my hair darker. And my nose pierced. EGAD. I wonder if that makes me a hillbilly housewife?

I have more.

Randi has seen one that needs to be added to another set at some point ... I'm suuuuuuuper stretchy, apparently.

Labels: old pictures

"Growth Severed the Cord"

'I forgot to remember
To tie up my shoe"
He said in September,
When School was yet new.
Uncertain, but willing
He marched to the bus
Big thoughts were filling
His mind - what a plus!
He's fragile and shy
I mused with a wave
Fearful he'd cry
I tried to look brave.
My baby returned
A student, he's classed
Infant love spurned!
How quickly it passed.
Excitment and chatter
Of others he brings
So what's the matter?
My jealous heart rings.
Left out and sorrowed
Growth severed the cord.
You remind me he's borrowed!
Watch over him, Lord!"

~ Winona Branan

(Taken from my baby book)

Labels: first day of preschool, the bug and mommy

The Long Versions:

Monday: Went out for dinner and drinks in Highlands (not Ranch!) with Kath, and met one of her best girlfriends. Had a wunnerful time! The margaritas were kick ass, too. After securing a spot at a bar up the road, I got to see a presumably naked man walking around his apartment. First floor, right onto Main Street. So, if you need a peep show, head to Highlands and hope for the best.

Tuesday: I went to Red Rocks for the End of the Summer Bash with ClizBiz. After hiking up, standing in line, securing a good seat, we saw a U2 cover band - Under Blood Red Sky. They must've been having audio trouble. Either way, when asking the crowd how'd they done, someone yelled back, "Borrrrrrrrrrring!". And Lord, that struck us something funny. Some 'lucky folk', also, won a contest to be married on stage, in front of all the drunk, stoned and rowdy college kids at Red Rocks. Lucky them. While exchanging their vows, some guy yelled out, "Don't dooooooo it! I fisted her last week!" and other such things. Finally, they showed their "feature presentation", if you will, of Wedding Crashers. (get it? We were all the wedding crashers ...?) Watched the movie, laughed more, had a great time with my girl. Also, fell coming out of the place and have a giant bruise on my ass. You know you want me.

Wednesday: Silence.

Thursday: I started freaking out yesterday about sending my kid to preschool on Monday. What if he gets scared because he doesn't know anyone? What if he needs me and I can't get there? What if he's too shy to ask where the restrom is? What if he makes all new friends and forgets his mommy? I was a stupid, emotional wreck over my son going to PRESCHOOL. Sigh.

Also, last night, my husband had to operate on a six-year-old child. Which is highly unusual for him - he doesn't do much in the way of taking care of children, at all. He was able to repair what had to be fixed, and the little boy now has blood supply to his legs. It's not been determined if the little boy will ever get use of his legs again, though. Grandma was driving the car and he was secured only in the back with a lap belt (had a motor vehicle accident). So really, people: Secure your kids the way they are supposed to be secured, for as long as they are supposed to be secured. You never know what can happen.

Friday: Today ... I have to take my son to a 'meet and greet' at the new school. We'll meet his teacher, have ice cream and the Bug will get to meet classmates and play on the equipment. I will try to keep the tears in check. Good luck with that!! Gaaaaawd. And tonight, we are supposed to head out to my girlfriend's place for Redneck Party. I will blog more about that later, considering it's probably going to be one giant debacle complete with cat fights and hair pulling.

So, what have I learned this week?

That naked is good, but not always that sexy.

That while crying on the potty, my son will visably shake and his little weenie will also shake, and you will be showered with pee mid stream while you bend down to make sure he's okay. In a public restroom. And closing time.

That you should NOT wear flip flops to Red Rocks because they have no traction and you will fall, and bust ass.

That you will be annoyed by the 18-23 age group of young women, and you will turn into Grumpy HDW because you are tired of "like, OHMYGOD, so I said, NO FUCKING WAY, and so like, he said ..." and you will want to bang your head on a rock and pray you never sounded that dumb. Ever.

That when a giant thunderstorm comes rolling through, you will wake up, enjoy it, and think, "Man, I remember when these sorts of storms growing up". And you will remember running into your parent's room, "scared", but really - you just loved crawling in between your parents and snuggling up. It was safe there. And you will think, "I hope the Bug knows he is safe".

And then you will think of Preschool all over again and BAWL.

Also, that you never know just how good things are (even when they seem like SHIT!) until you hear of a story that makes you realize just how lucky you are. And then you will go into the bedroom of your sleeping child with your husband at midnight, and make sure he's okay. And watch this sleeping being and know everything you love in this world doesn't hold a candle to the love you have for that baby.

He's three. He's not 'a baby', but dammit, he's my baby forever.

Labels: thoughts

I found this picture earlier today (with the quote credit to my fabulous roommate of many years).

And really, I have absolutely no real reason to post it, but it makes me laugh. I'm looking and acting like a complete idiot. In the background, you'll see my favorite aunt on the left (I believe this was the trip when she busted out the word "twat") and my mother. My "HDW is embarassing me ONCE AGAIN with her antics" mother.



I've got to find more of these pictures ....

Labels: 1997, capt bringdown, old pictures

Last night, HDH was reading The Bug a book about sharks.

They came across a page that described how dogfish are hatched from eggs. My husband took it upon himself to explain to our three-year-old at that moment that our son actually came from my belly. He ran down the hall, yelling to me something that sounded like, "HOLY SHIT I AM GOING TO NEED THERAPY FOR THIS ONE MOM!" or something like that.

After settling down (not really), he patted my tummy, cocked his little head to the side and said, "Momma, you got baby SHARKS in your tummy??".

Way to go, Daddy. Waaaaaaaaaaaay to go.

Labels: hdh-isms, the bug

Sunday, a few hours ago:

Me: What should we do for dinner tonight?

Him: Leftovers.

Me: What leftovers?

Him: The chinese food.

Me: We got that on Tuesday. It's not any good.

Him: I had it for lunch. It's fine.

Now, here's the thing ...

I'm not the biggest fan of leftovers in general. I will usually eat them the day after, maaaaaaaaaaybe two days. But almost a WEEK later? No. Thank. You.

HDHusband says it's fine.
I say it's not fine.
Dark Damian says, "That's fine if he wants a party with Sam & Ella later".

Your thoughts?

Labels: dark damian, hdh-isms, icky sicky

An Important Message From Mr Vholes

It's a long story.

It's one I don't want to talk about.

But it deserves to be said.

Labels: one should never revel

I have a headache.

A lightning storm took out our modem on Tuesday night, and I spent an inordinate amount of time with Qwest trying to determine that which we knew to be the problem when we first called.

I am proud to say I reinstalled a new modem and didn't fuck that up.

My kid is pretty much potty trained. We returned from vacation and he started doing his thing. He runs into the bathroom, holding his bottom, saying, "Ooooooooh nooo!" - as if he is going to be way too late. So far, never too late.

I still haven't unpacked one big suitcase. Maybe today I will get to that.

I am no longer a blonde. I determined I needed to go darker, so I have more natural color going on. I loooooooove it, actually. I've had a fun time playing with new makeup.

Did I mention my kid is potty trained? And through the night?

It's been a week, alright.

How was yours?

Labels: a week, meh

The roses growing in my in-law's backyard. Also, you can see my father-in-law's corn in the background:


Before going to dinner in the Pearl District:

Labels: pictures from vacation and stuff

Thursday:

We stopped for breafkast at this cool little place. On the way up and out of restaurant, Hubby bottomed out the Dodge Magnum and we started dragging part of the uncarriage bumper along the road. We pulled over and jammed that shit back up. Take that, you shitty car rental people! REVENGE! (not really).

Uneventful trip to the Coast. We met up with HDH's family at the beach house my sister-in-law had rented for us. Quite the cute little house. Not too far from the beach. We stayed at the house with my husband's dad, stepmother, sister, her husband and their 2.5 year daughter, and our family. Upon original agreement, we were going to be sleeping in some loft room with no bathroom. This was not going to be okay. So I spent the better part of the first half of our trip pissed off we were getting shafted. We arrive and somehow manage to get a good bedroom with bathroom attached, AND a place for our kid to sleep. Not bad.

Stayed in that night. Brother in law cooked steaks and corn on the grill. Drank some, but not enough. Put everyone to bed, and HDH and I sat in the hot tub, looking up at the Big Dipper. Saw one satellite and a falling star. I made a wish - a good one, too.

Friday:

We went down to the beach. The Bug ran around like a crazy child. They built sand castles and jumped in the cold Pacific water. Saw some dead birds. Not so pretty. After the kid's successfully drenched themselves and everyone around them, we headed to Mo's for some clam chowder. My niece (again, at 2.5 years old) threw a temper tantrum that was one for the ages. Such a meltdown, she went to sleep with her daddy in the car while the rest of us dined. I hear the meltdown had something to do with being close to the ocean again and not being able to get in it again. Oh, the humanity. We got home, and she dumped out a one THOUSAND piece puzzle and walked off. I watched my husband and his father pick all of those pieces up. They all appeared to be blue, too. What a pain in the ass. We were supposed to go to dinner that night, but afterNiece's meltdown, everyone opted to stay in and have pizza.

There was also a very cool time on the beach around sunset, flying kites. Bug let the line go at one point, watched my brother in law run after to retrieve the Nemo kite. We get back to the house, and Bug is walking funny. I take off his shorts, and see the inside of his legs are chaffed with one big egg-sized blister on the thigh. HDH and his sister track down Triple Diaper Cream at a Walgreens about 15 minutes from the house. Slathered that stuff on his owie, hauled him to bed, and he slept like a rock.

Saturday:

We went to the Aquarium, looked at crabs, saw sharks, the works. We packed up our suitcases, had dinner, and headed back into Portland. Once at the hotel, we wandered around the waterfront, found an ice cream store, sat on a bench and watched the boats so by. The Bug and HDH decided, once back at the hotel, to watch Spiderman 3 on PPV. The Bug is still talking about the Sandman losing his fingers and, "MOMMY! MOMMY! SPIDER-NAN!!!".

Sunday:

Today. Oh my god. We get up early, only to discover there is some bike-a-thon going on and most of the bridges are closed. If you know anything about Portland, you know you depend mightily on the bridges to get around. If it weren't for HDH having lived here once upon a blue moon, we never would have found our way across the river and to the airport. While at the airport, we've heard a lot of people say how they missed the early flights due to the bike thing. It was quite impressive to see all the bicyclists, but damn. They messed up a lot of travel today.

And now, we are at the airport. The Bug has been playing with a pay phone. He just saw a military guy walked by and announced, 'hey, that's a BAD guy!'. We are all ready to go home and relax in our own space again.

Edit:

Home.

And photos to follow.

I lied.





I must update you on our trip to Oregon. I thought I could wait until next week, but no. I lied.





Saturday:





Bug and I flew out to Portland. The flight was relatively easy. He was happy to be on the plane. He watched his movies on the portable DVD player (thank you to whomever invented that bad boy, by the way). A nice man in the seat next to us kept offering Bug paper to write on. Never mind I had the same thing, but you know, it's someone else's ... so it must be better. Whatever. He was quiet and contained and things were going well.





We picked up our luggage and carted it across the street to the rental car place. So far, so good. I've got Bug in a stroller, a big purse and two suitcases. I'm doing pretty well. I'm sweating, but I'm doing pretty good.





Now, months and months ago, we signed up for a car rental membership that has your name on a board, and you just walk right up, and you have your car waiting. This is a pretty sweet deal if you have a three-year-old in tow. We've used this membership three times. Two out of three, they've fucked it up. Our car hasn't been waiting.





Bug and I arrive. No name on the board. I go into first rental agent dude, who tells me our reservation was made for 5:30 in the morning, not 5:30 in the evening. Right, because my reservation says PM, and because a lot of flights are getting in then.





Then he argues with me, and says I'm not "HDH", and that's the only gold membership he sees. Again, no. We have two. My name and my husband's name. I put it under MY NAME as we were flying in SEPERATELY. He sorts this out, gives me the keys, and I load up the Bug.





You have to check out of the airport with a rental car dude. He makes sure you aren't stealing rental cars, I guess. Well, good thing for this Dumbass!! He wouldn't let us out of the garage. He said I wasn't HDH, but only HDW. Again, we sorted this out inside. So he hems and haws about it, then says that no, we aren't allowed to go. I tell him to go inside and sort it out again. He comes back and asks what fuel option we want, and I tell him we'll fill it up before we bring it back. He comes back again and tells me because the reservation was made with "your husband's credit card only", you can't leave. WHAT THE HELL?? I show him my card, and explain yet again it's MY CARD TOO.





Finally, after 25 minutes and 8 cars backed up behind me, he tells me I can go, but lecturing me to call their membership office and sort things out. He also adds, "don't blame me, blame Osama".





Okay, Johnny Law!





Saturday EVENING:





Cause really, that's not enough for one day.





HDH's cousin had invited the Bug and to a picnic/bbq/party near his house. After checking into the hotel, Bug and I loaded up, managed to follow the directions pretty well and got to J's house. From there, we all drove to this party. And it kicked ASS. It was close to the gorge. The trees were beautiful. The view was fabulous. The bridges. .. god, I love the bridges.





J gets me a drink of the alcoholic nature. I am happy. I am watching the Bug in the volleyball sand pit, and I lean over to tell him something. Another little boy - one that I liken to looking like this little kid from the movie Little Rascals - hauls off and kicks dirt in my face, leaving a 2 inch film of sand in my alcoholic beverage.



A little later on in the evening, the same kid came by and pushed my son down. Just took a hand to Bug's chest, and knocked him down. I chewed ass.



But as my husband points out, "I'm sure my wife was pissed that Bug got knocked over. But she was more pissed to lose her drink. You just don't do that!".



A few hours later, we head back to the hotel.



Sunday:



We pick HDH up at the airport.



We stop by the coffee joint that used to be a Coffee People, but has now become Starbucks. I order my usual Chai Tea. My husband orders a raspberry latte. While I am giving him shit for ordering such a chick drink, the person on the other end of the drive-thru microphone repeats our order, adding, "and a nice juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuicy raspberry latte".



My husband looks at me, and says, "Maybe I should see if they sell testicles, too. Apparently I need those".



The reunion was fun. A whole new onslaught of family showed up, so we had a chance to meet many new faces and hear new stories. There were also a lot of teenage kids there. After everyone left, I retreated to the basement to check directions to a restaurant we wanted to go to. I look at the browser history, and see the usual myspace, gmail, and then a questionable dating website.



The LAST year we were here, my MIL was unhappy that we'd cleared her internet browser. It's habit at our house. Apparently, she doesn't know how to use the favorites tab. But whatever.

Monday:

We went to breakfast, and HDH spilled his hot coffee all over me.

Sometime during our visit to OMSI (Oregon Museum of Science and Industry), the MIL calls in a panic because she has all these news email addresses showing up in her personal email. She also found out they'd been using her scanner to scan certain body parts. I think this is the last time we have the reunion at my MIL's house. And rightfully so. It's about time this 'next generation' takes over.

And on the way home, I slammed my kid's hand in the car door. Um, so yay mom.

Tuesday:

Kind of uneventful for HDFamily standards. Went to the zoo. Dropped kid off with grandparents, and went downtown with HDH for dinner. Stopped by Powells, bought books ("two book minimum" imposed by my husband - MY ASS!), had a great dinner at Fratelli's.

Wednesday:

Another uneventful day. Took the Bug to the Children's Museum. We had lunch at a cool neighborhood place. Had a great coffee to make up for the shit coffee I'd had earlier in the day. HDH told me I was 'as friendly as a wolverine' when I hadn't eaten or had my coffee. He is right. And later that evening, he told me that I steal all of his covers, and he's left "out in the cold like a baby oppossum on the side of the road with only a blanket to cover his hairless self". And end quote.

I have no idea what the means. I just know he mumbled that shit before we went to bed last night. He thought it was funny. I think he's been huffing something in the closet of the Embassy Suites. But whatever.

It's now Thursday ... we are headed to the Oregon Coast to stay in a beach house with the Family. I will update later, as I'm sure I'll be too drunk to post conherently. or at least this is my hope.

Edit: Excuse the misspellings and such. Although I may APPEAR to be typing drunk now, I am not. I am using my husband's laptop and am too lazy to spell check.

.............. on Saturday.





We're off to the yearly "HotDoctor Family Reunion" in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. This year, Bug and I are taking off a day early, and the Hubby is flying in the next morning. I'm not too freaked about traveling alone with Bug. I've made a mental plan of what to pack, how to pack, and all of it involves vodka for me. No wait, I meant toys for him. Yeah, that's what I meant ...





We will be attending the family reunion on Sunday, and seeing old friends for the days that follow. Around Thursday, we'll be packing it up and driving to the Oregon Coast for a few days at a beach house HotDoctorHusband's sister booked for our family, her family, and the in-law's in or around Lincoln Beach. It shall be an experience, methinks. Good, bad, indifferent, I will come back with some story for all of you.



Like last year. I don't think I could begin to top last year, but those of you new to the blog or interested in the shit that happened ...



Part One

Part Two

Part Three



Which reminds me ....


My ass is taking a week long break while we're out there. I am going to try and check my email maaaaaaaaaaaaaybe once, if I remember. I'm so looking forward to disconnecting myself for a while. I know somewhere Kath is reeling in horror, but I'm burning out on the internet (ducking, while she throws her laptop in my general direction).

I'm looking forward to the break.

Therefore, I will spend tomorrow (Friday) packing, unpacking, re-packing ... and catch you all somewhere in the week of August 13th!

Labels: oregon, vacation all I ever wanted ... or not