My dad wouldn't let me have an animal if I was in 4-H (even though we lived on a FARM, but whatever), so they settled on cake decorating. And I'll have you know I got Reserve Grand Champion that year with a cake called, "Fair Days". That's right, I ruled!

A lovely shot of me at a Church Youth Group meeting in 1990. I took it upon myself to label the back of this picture, "NASTY!":


Oh look! We have the guy who decided to love on me a bit my first year in College. What a nice guy, except for the 22 appended messages he left me on my voice mail once:

Look out, bitches!! HDW turns 21! (May I have that flat tummy back, please and thank you?):

Aw! My buddy, Tommy. This is my 23rd birthday at some club in Downtown Denver. I had just been tossed around in the air and made to do some crazy dance moves:


My bestest aunt in the world (pictured!) turned 50 in Vegas, so the rest of my family went out to help her celebrate. I'm strategically taken out my skeevy mom's ex-husband to my right. I'm crafty and smart like that:


My ex-boyfriend's uncle, Stewart. Love this guy:


I GOT MARRIED! This picture makes me laugh for many reasons, and makes me sad - the lady in the lower lefthand corner died this last year after a long ass battle with breast cancer:

Um, so. After HDH and I got married, we went with friends to Alaska for a week, touring around in a motor home. This is my visual description of a story that happened in Chicago (Shit-cago) a few weeks prior to our trip. Someday, I will recount this story for you. Until then:

BITCHES, I'm 30! You know you want me:

And here's one of me with my hair darker. And my nose pierced. EGAD. I wonder if that makes me a hillbilly housewife?

I have more.

Randi has seen one that needs to be added to another set at some point ... I'm suuuuuuuper stretchy, apparently.

Labels: old pictures