I lied.





I must update you on our trip to Oregon. I thought I could wait until next week, but no. I lied.





Saturday:





Bug and I flew out to Portland. The flight was relatively easy. He was happy to be on the plane. He watched his movies on the portable DVD player (thank you to whomever invented that bad boy, by the way). A nice man in the seat next to us kept offering Bug paper to write on. Never mind I had the same thing, but you know, it's someone else's ... so it must be better. Whatever. He was quiet and contained and things were going well.





We picked up our luggage and carted it across the street to the rental car place. So far, so good. I've got Bug in a stroller, a big purse and two suitcases. I'm doing pretty well. I'm sweating, but I'm doing pretty good.





Now, months and months ago, we signed up for a car rental membership that has your name on a board, and you just walk right up, and you have your car waiting. This is a pretty sweet deal if you have a three-year-old in tow. We've used this membership three times. Two out of three, they've fucked it up. Our car hasn't been waiting.





Bug and I arrive. No name on the board. I go into first rental agent dude, who tells me our reservation was made for 5:30 in the morning, not 5:30 in the evening. Right, because my reservation says PM, and because a lot of flights are getting in then.





Then he argues with me, and says I'm not "HDH", and that's the only gold membership he sees. Again, no. We have two. My name and my husband's name. I put it under MY NAME as we were flying in SEPERATELY. He sorts this out, gives me the keys, and I load up the Bug.





You have to check out of the airport with a rental car dude. He makes sure you aren't stealing rental cars, I guess. Well, good thing for this Dumbass!! He wouldn't let us out of the garage. He said I wasn't HDH, but only HDW. Again, we sorted this out inside. So he hems and haws about it, then says that no, we aren't allowed to go. I tell him to go inside and sort it out again. He comes back and asks what fuel option we want, and I tell him we'll fill it up before we bring it back. He comes back again and tells me because the reservation was made with "your husband's credit card only", you can't leave. WHAT THE HELL?? I show him my card, and explain yet again it's MY CARD TOO.





Finally, after 25 minutes and 8 cars backed up behind me, he tells me I can go, but lecturing me to call their membership office and sort things out. He also adds, "don't blame me, blame Osama".





Okay, Johnny Law!





Saturday EVENING:





Cause really, that's not enough for one day.





HDH's cousin had invited the Bug and to a picnic/bbq/party near his house. After checking into the hotel, Bug and I loaded up, managed to follow the directions pretty well and got to J's house. From there, we all drove to this party. And it kicked ASS. It was close to the gorge. The trees were beautiful. The view was fabulous. The bridges. .. god, I love the bridges.





J gets me a drink of the alcoholic nature. I am happy. I am watching the Bug in the volleyball sand pit, and I lean over to tell him something. Another little boy - one that I liken to looking like this little kid from the movie Little Rascals - hauls off and kicks dirt in my face, leaving a 2 inch film of sand in my alcoholic beverage.



A little later on in the evening, the same kid came by and pushed my son down. Just took a hand to Bug's chest, and knocked him down. I chewed ass.



But as my husband points out, "I'm sure my wife was pissed that Bug got knocked over. But she was more pissed to lose her drink. You just don't do that!".



A few hours later, we head back to the hotel.



Sunday:



We pick HDH up at the airport.



We stop by the coffee joint that used to be a Coffee People, but has now become Starbucks. I order my usual Chai Tea. My husband orders a raspberry latte. While I am giving him shit for ordering such a chick drink, the person on the other end of the drive-thru microphone repeats our order, adding, "and a nice juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuicy raspberry latte".



My husband looks at me, and says, "Maybe I should see if they sell testicles, too. Apparently I need those".



The reunion was fun. A whole new onslaught of family showed up, so we had a chance to meet many new faces and hear new stories. There were also a lot of teenage kids there. After everyone left, I retreated to the basement to check directions to a restaurant we wanted to go to. I look at the browser history, and see the usual myspace, gmail, and then a questionable dating website.



The LAST year we were here, my MIL was unhappy that we'd cleared her internet browser. It's habit at our house. Apparently, she doesn't know how to use the favorites tab. But whatever.

Monday:

We went to breakfast, and HDH spilled his hot coffee all over me.

Sometime during our visit to OMSI (Oregon Museum of Science and Industry), the MIL calls in a panic because she has all these news email addresses showing up in her personal email. She also found out they'd been using her scanner to scan certain body parts. I think this is the last time we have the reunion at my MIL's house. And rightfully so. It's about time this 'next generation' takes over.

And on the way home, I slammed my kid's hand in the car door. Um, so yay mom.

Tuesday:

Kind of uneventful for HDFamily standards. Went to the zoo. Dropped kid off with grandparents, and went downtown with HDH for dinner. Stopped by Powells, bought books ("two book minimum" imposed by my husband - MY ASS!), had a great dinner at Fratelli's.

Wednesday:

Another uneventful day. Took the Bug to the Children's Museum. We had lunch at a cool neighborhood place. Had a great coffee to make up for the shit coffee I'd had earlier in the day. HDH told me I was 'as friendly as a wolverine' when I hadn't eaten or had my coffee. He is right. And later that evening, he told me that I steal all of his covers, and he's left "out in the cold like a baby oppossum on the side of the road with only a blanket to cover his hairless self". And end quote.

I have no idea what the means. I just know he mumbled that shit before we went to bed last night. He thought it was funny. I think he's been huffing something in the closet of the Embassy Suites. But whatever.

It's now Thursday ... we are headed to the Oregon Coast to stay in a beach house with the Family. I will update later, as I'm sure I'll be too drunk to post conherently. or at least this is my hope.

Edit: Excuse the misspellings and such. Although I may APPEAR to be typing drunk now, I am not. I am using my husband's laptop and am too lazy to spell check.