I'll skip the bullshit:

Today, my painter (female) walked in on me nekkid, in the shower. She apparently freaked when she heard the water turn on upstairs, thought someone had broken in to take a shower. Apparently, the thought of me ALREADY BEING UPSTAIRS didn't register.

We are done with her officially until at least October.

Here are some of the fishies and a clam that live in our saltwater tank. It's roughly 550 gallons, 10 feet long, and really, really pretty.

HDH (Hotdrhusband) takes care of it himself, too.

Once, this tank leaked about 100 gallons. Spilled over into the living room and down into the basement, pretty much ruining the 65 inch TV of pure-viewing-pleasure.

He has a VERY. PATIENT. WIFE.

I am SO VERY TIRED of Denver radio. A few stations try to play new songs, and songs I like, but generally, it's the same ol' shit every day.

Today, I turned on a station to hear ... for the umpteenth time ... Rob Thomas. Now, I used to be a Matchbox 20 fan. I liked their stuff. He had a different voice. Fine, whatever.

Now, I would rather stab pencils in my eyes than hear "Angry No More" again. I'm not sure if it's because Denver radio sucks so badly and they play these songs all the friggin' time, if it's because Rob Thomas won't go away, or if it's both.

Also, one of the stations here actually played some different stuff. I knew it was about 1,000 years behind NYC and LA, but at least it was new to us.

And one day I turned on the station to find they'd changed formats over night. Now, it's "Spanish hip-hop". I listened to it today because, thank God, they don't play Rob Thomas. Or Coldplay. Or Dave Matthews. Or Avril Lavinge. Or anyone else I hate today.

While ranting to my husband about whatever stupid thing our painter had done (she's been here for two weeks painting, but that's another story), he looked at me and said, "Oh, WOW. Do you know who you just sounded like? That girl from The Exorcist. You know, Reagan? The part when she says, 'You're mother sucks cocks in hell!'"

Funny. (or is it?)

I'd like to believe I didn't sound that bad, but it has been 103-105 here for the last week, everyone is testy and I'm starting to make plans to move to Antartica ...

Our mailman will not deliver mail if there is a car parked in front of our mailbox. From a full on frontal park job, to a simple "just a touch over" park job. He drives right on by, with that stupid dumb look on his face (stoned, we think), listening to his stupid headphones. I hate him.

I hate him, too, because last year around tax season, we were patiently waiting for our packet to sign and return to my accountant.

Nothing.

I call her, she resends.

Somewhere in the mix of it all, a woman moving in our street (from across the street in another neighborhood) saw a packet on top of their community mailbox, recognized our name and brought it to us. We just had met the night before. It was likely sitting out for days.

Again, I hate this man.

I took my son to the park today. He 'made friends' with a cute little kid (by trying to pirate his sacred 'tuck') and accosting their dog, Buddy (by trying to ride him like a horse). The mom was totally cool, too. This rarely happens in my experience. People will talk 'through' their children, never really to you.

Today, I actually met a mom that wasn't the normal play date mom (or by normal, I mean, the ones I've encountered as of recent). You know, comparing your kid's weight to their kid's weight, how many words they can say, etc. It's an adult pissing contest that I refuse to play. Every kid is different. If people would start celebrating differences, this world wouldn't suck so badly in my opinion (but that's another post).


On a separate note, we were walking home and my son had my billfold. He promptly opened it up and threw out all the tampons I had in it on the street.

Nice.

Today, my dad's college best friend's daughter called me. Over the years, we've all been close. We've flown to see them, and they've come out to see us. Lots of similiarties.


The last time my dad and her dad got together, it was the Holiday Bowl in San Diego. 1994. I remember turning around in the stands, seeing my dad laughing with her dad. I could see the laugh lines around my dad's eyes --- there just wasn't a person who could make me laugh the way he made my dad laugh.

This was January of 1994.

On a cold February morning, my aunt and uncle came to tell me that my dad had died the previous night. The doctor thought a heart attack. My heart broke.

In the days that followed, people started showing up to the house and I couldn't really understand just WHY they were there. I never saw them outside of special occasions. I was in such a state of shock, I suppose. But out of the misery, I saw him. I saw W. He hugged my mom, my brother and me in the biggest bear hug. I have said since that I had never felt so safe. We were okay. It would be okay.

So today, his daughter calls. They've admitted her dad into the hospital. He's been losing weight. He's not recovered well from a flu he had six months ago (he's only 58, you see). Her mom won't tell her what the doctor's have found over the phone because they just don't want to worry her.

She calls me instead on the 45 minute drive.

I tell her I'm sure it's all going to be okay. After all, this is the same dad that made MY dad laugh so hard. This is the same guy that used to send back his food because it was 'too done', 'not done enough', or my personal favorite, 'Jesus Christ, I wouldn't feed this to my dog'. Maybe it was the delivery, but it had me in stitches every time.

Tonight, I tell my husband (a doctor) what the doctor's have found. I tell him verbatim what his daughter has told me. There's a silence and then the truth as he knows it to be. It could be one of two things. I tell him I don't want to hear it. He says it anyway.

I crawled into my husband's lap like a little baby and cried. (I'm crying now) I'm crying because I love this man so much. He's family to me. I cry because I don't want anyone to know the pain I knew losing a father so young (mine was only 49). I cry too (selfishly?) because this is one more piece of my father I'm just not ready to lose yet.

Colon cancer, my husband says. Possilby diverticulitis. It can forge a mass between the colon and bladder, my husband says. He'd know. He's a doctor. But it could be cancer, too, especially if they found spots on his stomach, baby.

I believe in miracles. I saw one earlier today. I know they can happen.

I know, too, not many people read this blog.

But I had to let this go tonight ... let it be.

And if you read this, please send up a prayer, a thought, a wish, whatever you do. Because he needs this. His family needs this.

He's a super guy.

God give you strength tonight, Woodson.

I love you.

51. My son fell tonight and hit his head on the cement. Hard. Hit his head and nose. (and all I could think of my was broken nose as a child - lovely)
52. I saw Coke rust a nail once in the sixth grade and haven't had it since.
53. I have a very cool aunt that lives in Texas.
54. I like Tori Amos' early music.
55. I've climbed a 14'er.
56. I hated climbing the 14'er.
57. When we were descending the mountain, my friend said, "I want to see my car so badly I swear I'd sleep with it when I see it". This still makes me laugh.
58. I went sea kayaking once and managed to hit my husband in the face with the paddle.
59. This dissolved me into a fit of laughter and he whined like a baby.
60. I loved being a nanny.
61. I wasn't allowed to watch Doogie Howser, MD. My mom said it was "the decline of children's television".
62. I only wear thong underwear.
63. Most of my girlfriends are pregnant right now.
64. One delivered a month or so early - on July 4th.
65. I'm bored with my book selection right now.
66. I didn't like The Lovely Bones. I'm not sure why.
67. I loved Middlesex.
68. My friend in high school was run over by a tractor, got pretty mangled and lived to tell about it. Only to have her house taken by a tornado that summer, and then her car blew up the year following. Amazing.
69. I have a scar on my left foot from running in my yard two years ago after my nephew, and running straight into a rusted tree post.
70. I could see my toe guts, drove myself to the ER. Ick.
71. My brother was awarded the Citizen Valor award for trying to save my dad's life. I think he's forgotten about this. He shouldn't.
72. My favorite pet was Max, our Boston Terrier.
73. He died on 9/10.
74. I woke up the next morning to 9/11, and it was put very abruptly back into place.
75. Kevin Costner is a distant relative.
76. There's a coyote patrols our street on Trash Day.
77. There are also a lot of pudder-tat's missing from our neighborhood.
78. My brother ended up in the ER once from peeing on an electric fence.
79. My friend is visiting Pakistan right now. And I didn't know if she was on the train that crashed yesterday --- she's not --- . I didn't know that until today and I was sick until I found out.
80. I love pasta.
81. I think there's a ghost that lives in my upstairs bathroom. I call her "Bathtub Betty".
82. I'm worried I won't get past 82 on this list.
83. I've been to Mexico, but no where really cool. Only Juarez. Boo.
84. While on the tour bus coming across to the US, I saw a guy jump the fence.
85. I hate that people only associate people in Colorado with skiing.
86. I've been on a cattle drive.
87. I saved a cow from slaughter once. Named her Lucy. (it was a 'he', and my dad sent 'her' off to slaughter the next day)
88. I was stuck in a pasture for hours once in a stand-off with a rattlesnake.
89. When my dad saw me there, he came down in the 4-Wheeler with a shovel and chopped it up.
90. I had a bull snake fall from the rafter of a barn once. On my shoulder.
91. My friend had a snake named Santana.
92. He brought out the skin it shed once and said "Don't EVER sunburn ... your penis". This still cracks me up.
93. If I could go anywhere, I'd go to the south and visit Charleston.
94. This was the year I graduated from high school.
95. I graduated with most of the kids I started school with.
96. I sung the National Anthem at all of our ball games.
97. Once, there was a very sweet guy who wrote me one of the nicest letters in the entire world. I married him.
98. I love to go on long car rides by myself.
99. My first kiss was on the Rock-O-Plane, right after we were barfed on by the guy about us. Not so romantic, that one.
and ...........
100. I hope the next 100 are a LOT more interesting than the first.

Boo.

1. I was adopted - one month and twelve days after I was born.
2. My parents were going to name me after a relative, but at the last minute (like as mom was calling to say, "We have a baby and her name is ..."), my dad changed his mind.
3. Turns out the name he picked was that of a hottie cheerleader he liked at college.
4. I have a younger brother, also adopted.
5. I learned to play the piano at age four.
6. You'll find a black Petrof baby grand in my living room that I rarely play now.
7. I hate the theory part, so I tend to sight read. (and it sounds better that way, too)
8. I went to college on a music scholarship (vocal and piano), but really wanted to do anything else instead.
9. I buried a clog shoe on our farm once thinking a clog tree would grow. Never did.
10. I've been married for 3.5 years and have a son.
11. I like green apple martini's (really, you don't say!).
12. I am a HUGE book nut.
13. My collection of perfume and candles is just insane.
14. I can bend my thumbs backwards, my elbows out, and my hips ...?
15. I can do a twisty thingie with my tongue and make it look like a "W".
16. I love toe rings and thumb rings.
17. I know how to change the oil in my car.
18. My husband is my best friend.
19. The best thing about my day is going in to pick up my son from his crib - he gets so happy he dances around.
20. I'm seriously disorganized, but I can clean.
21. I hate cleaning.
22. Tornadoes freak the living crap out of me.
23. I've been in a tornado or two.
24. My brother once put rust remover on my toothbrush and I used it (don't know what made me think of this).
25. I watched my brother almost die when he was three.
26. I remember giving him his favorite bear and singing "Twinkle, Twinkle" to him.
27. I have one nephew - he's five. His birthday is 12/15, born at 12:15. Pretty cool.
28. One of my favorite movies is still the Goonies (because Goonies never say die!!).
29. I've been nominated to sing a Carpenters song this Friday night at the neighborhood karoke.
30. I actually know the song.
31. I've chased a burglar out of this house at six-weeks post-partum.
32. I love the weather in Fall, I'd much rather wear sweaters!
33. I broke my nose when I was three - I fell on a cinder block.
34. We lived too far from the hospital, so I never got it fixed.
35. I have freckles.
36. I had my ear pierced (finally) two years ago.
37. I miss my dad.
38. I don't miss my mom.
39. I know all of the words to "I've Been Everywhere".
40. My first job was a busgirl at a local diner.
41. I had a dream I got sucked into the giant dishwasher and then I quit.
42. My next job was working as a piano player for the can-can dancers.
43. While at the saloon, I was featured on a brochure in truckstops and a commerical in France. (nice - let's capture awkward on paper AND film)
44. My hometown has one (blinking) stoplight and a claim to a mass murder.
45. I've met David Hasselhoff, and his breath stunk really, really bad.
46. My neighbor plays on the World Poker Tour.
47. I'm still really proud of a "B" I got on a English term paper in college.
48. I only paint my toenails red.
49. I hate the number 49, really.
Eh. Last one for now ..... how about ....
50. I used to move the clock up in our little church by 20 minutes so we'd get home in time to see the Broncos play. And it worked for quite a while, too.

God, I loved me some Ed McCaffrey! (wait, is that 51??)

I spent most of today with my grandmother, grandfather, and my aunt at the hospital. My grandma was seeing my husband for a venous ulcer that's been giving her some trouble. I had NO IDEA what one was - but forever I am a changed woman after seeing hers and the pain she must go through. It's been "weeping" for almost five months. Her shoes get soaked from the fluid. Why am I telling you all of this? Because I refuse to be the only one this has ruined for the day.

This isn't hers, but a photo I found:

Went to the Mall today to buy a new pair of pants. (finally, baby weight be a-droppin') The girl that was ringing me up was the stupidest sounding person I have ... just possibly ... ever met. When two boys asked her where to find BC Sports, she tells them, and as they walk away, she says to her friend, "Geez, I hope they don't get 'nappered'."

And when her friend asks her to hold open the bag so she can put my purchases in the bag, she agreed by saying, "Oh, TODES". Not "Totally", but "todes".


This and she insisted on making a "Wall of the Rings We Want" in the back room. This way all the 'boys' they loved would know which ring to buy for them, and wouldn't have the chance to mess it up.(Because really, what guy doesn't want that little yippy girlfriend in their lives?? And they wonder why they aren't married yet? Jeebus!!!)

Lovely.

Then this evening, I had a small altercation (and I'm very easy going, so this was rare) with a woman at an outdoor concert we were at. We've been going for almost four years. Never once has anyone been nasty, mean, unkind. The laid-back Capitol Hill crowd. You bring in your own wine and food, chill under the stars, listen to the likes of Keb' Mo' (this evening), Ottmar Leibert (last night - in-freaking-credible flamenco guitar player from Santa Fe), Lucinda Williams, and soon, Jonny Lang. A great line-up, great crowd.

Until this RAG of a woman sees my camera (and I'm taking a photo of my son running away from the stage), and she jumps me about the whole thing.

The first time she said, "You can't have a camera; they'll seriously take it from you!!" (in the worst panicked, "The f----ing aliens are coming, man, run!!!" voice), I told her I appreciated her letting me know. The third time she told me (and as I was leaving), I turned to her and said, "You know, it's great you told me, but I wish to hell you'd shut up and leave us alone".

Too bad that bitch doesn't get "nappered".

Like, TODES.

This is the Baby and Me. This was taken around Easter,
but still a good photo. It was likely the last time I
put on makeup (ha).

He's stinking cute, though, that baby of mine.

Just curious if anyone else has seen this movie? We went last night. I'm not a huge Sci-Fi person. Well, I'm not one AT ALL, so this movie just didn't do much for me.

I'd be curious to know what the folks who DO like alien tripod's coming out of the ground think ...

My little brother is a serious redneck. One of his favorite lines to my nephew is: "You better stop, Philip, before I box yer ears in".

He lives in filfth and squallor. In order to "have a better view", he moved his pool table upstairs into the living room. The pickup he drives was nice at some point, but no longer. There's trash layered in the back .... just sick.

And on a regular basis, my brother argues with me. He is often wrong, but he will argue until he's blue in the face about whatever the issue is.

Take for example, today's issue:

Wade: ...... PHILIP!!! DO NOT RUN THROUGH THIS HOUSE WITH YOUR UNDERWEAR DIRTY! YOU HAVE A GIANT POOP STAIN ON THE BACK!!!!

Me: That's gross, Wade! Don't yell in my ear.

Wade: Sorry. Well, no one taught me to wipe my own ass so I don't know what to tell Philip. Guess he'll just have to learn on his own.

Me: Maybe you should buy those Cottonelle wipes.

Wade: Those are for hemmoroids.

Me: No, they aren't. They're for anyone.

Wade: NO! Those are just for old people with 'roids.

(this argument goes on for about five minutes)

Me: We have them at our house, Wade. They are for anyone, I swear it to you. Go buy home. It will be easier for him that way. And maybe even you. I'd hate to know how nasty your asshole is.

Wade: Well, THAT'S gross, Syd. You need those 'roid wipes? Now I know what's growing on YOUR butt.