Monday, September 24, 2007
School Pictures
Last week, the Bug came down with a virus of some sort. Between coughing, hacking, sniffling and generally feeling like crap, he wasn't feeling all that stellar. I mused that not only does he LOOK like me, but he certainly has other traits of mine, too.

What are those, you ask?

Missing your first school pictures because you are SICK!

Bug's school pictures were scheduled for last Thursday. And because he had a fever and felt like hell, I didn't drag him into school for the event. My first class pictures are noticeably absent from the scrapbook: I managed to get chicken pox about then.

(I also missed our first field trip because I had - seriously! - chicken pox AGAIN.)

I wonder what else my son will 'get' of me ... will he muse later in life he should live in a big bubble with padded walls because he runs into everything? I currently have a bruise on my leg that for the life of me I can't place how or when I get the damn thing ...

For now, I'm packing up a lunch, promising him all mornings will indeed suck this bad, but that soon he'll be with his buddies, talking over Danimals and PB&J.

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Episode recounted by hotdrwife
4 of you told me what you really thought!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007
I Have a Fever ....


..... and the only PRESCRIPTION is more cowbell!

I hate being sick. It has been a long ass time since a virus has knocked me on my ass like this one has. I believe now is the time to get a shout out to my son, The Bug (aka The Vector of Disease) for bringing this damn thing into our home.

My throat hurts. My head hurts. My body hurts.

Because his fever is gone and all he really has left is the remnant of sore throat, The Bug can go back to daycare. And when she opens shop, I will be driving by, letting him out and speeding home, back into my bed.

The house will be quiet. There will be no endless marathon of cartoons on. I will climb into my cold bed and pass out until I can sleep no more.

We are going to an outdoor concert tonight, and like hell am I going to miss one of the best things about summer because of a stupid little (bigassmotherfuckingpieceofcrap) bug.

(And for those of you missing the reference to the SNL skit, CLICK RIGHT HERE and it will be clear as mud to you.)

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Episode recounted by hotdrwife
9 of you told me what you really thought!

Friday, June 15, 2007
"I Need A Doctor To Fix Me My Bug!"
Around 5:00 a.m. this morning, The Bug opened the door to our room, crying. I scooped him up, went back down the hall to his room, laid him in his big boy bed ("because I'm a big boy, Mommy!"), and shushed him back to sleep.

Sort of.

He fell asleep. And I was laying there, thinking back to the time I insisted my dad sleep next to me in my full bed after a nightmare I'd had. He was 6'5" and 250, and he had to have been completely and totally uncomfortable. It must have taken some serious, "Daddy, PLEEEEEEEEESE!" to get him to stay with me, too. You know, Fierce Protector of Monsters and all.

I landed back in my bed around 6:15 or so. I was drifting back into sleep when I heard our neighbor revving his Ferrari engine.

Are you KIDDING me? It's not even 7:00 a.m. and he's out there gunning that fucking car? No. No way. No thank you. I yelled something like, "OHMYGOD! YOU ARE SUCH A FUCKING DIPSHIT!" - but to no one in particular. He couldn't hear me from my bed, but HotDoctorHusband could.

And we spent the next fifteen minutes dissecting that idiot's life. Frankly, I'm awfully surprised it took that long. Apparently, his kids are so nuts, they try stabbing their guests in their arms with forks. (note to self: our kid doesn't play two houses down)

After HDH left, I went back to bed for a bit. I crawled back into bed, hearing only smatterings of engine gunning, and had a very strange dream about tattoos, an old shop building, a broken tractor and Fyrchk. It's not worth explaining, as I can't even explain it myself.

I got The Bug a doctor's appointment around 12:30 because he had a temp, swollen throat, and said his tummy hurt. All tell-tale signs of Strep. The test came back negative. She did inform me another virus was out and about - with some other jacked up name - presenting like Strep. Good times.

During the check-up, The Doctor asked my son if she could look in his ears to "check for ladybugs". My son was seriously concerned about this. He readily agreed this needed to be taken seriously, and she could most certainly look for the bugs. After announcing there were no bugs to be seen ("They must be on vacation!"), we were out the door, in the car, and home again.

After the bath, the following conversation occurred:

The Bug: Mommy, no bugs in my ears.

Mommy: Nope, no bugs. Do you have bugs in your nose?

My Bug: NO!

Mommy: Do you have bugs in your mouth?

My Bug: NO!

Mommy: Do you have bugs in your tummy?

My Bug: (pauses, thinks) ... No, Mommy. I don't eat the ants at NeeNee's! (daycare person)

Good to know we're going to have to talk about bugs living in our bodies for the next, what, couple of months?

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

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Episode recounted by hotdrwife
4 of you told me what you really thought!

Name: Hot Dr's Wife!
Location: The Rockies

I am the wife of a surgeon, a mother of a three-year-old son, a sister to a redneck brother, the daughter of a dad I miss daily. Colorado native, raised on a ranch, been on a cattle drive and driven many combines. I am always barefoot, I love my friends, and I insist Happy Hour start at 5:00 pm and not a minute later.

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