Why do I say My Life on Wisteria Lane? This is why:

I was reprimanded by a neighbor recently because we aren't "members" yet of the local swimming "club". At last count, the wait list was 65 families deep, and the cost PER YEAR (which is really one summer worth of swimming, so three months at most?) was $450. Your babysitter/nanny has a fee of $25. They tell you it's worth it because you have movie nights at the pool, but really, I think you could do that AT HOME and pay far less. If you head up the street a bit and turn right, you run right into a public pool, just as much to do there, easier to get in, and FAR less expensive.

I hate this holier-than-thou crap I encounter living in this neighborhood. The look they gave my husband and me when we said we would likely send our son to public schools was priceless - it was as if someone had farted right in the room. They have their children in the international school. I'm sure it's a lovely school. I also know my husband's parents were public school teachers and my dad was the President of the school board at my public school for years. Public schools are important in our family.

Now, I have nothing at all against the choices they are making for their children, but this attitude that BECAUSE you live on this street, you should automatically be doing such things - like private schools and high-end memberships to be seen - is what makes me crazy.

It's hysterical. Neither my husband or myself care to 'be seen' by anyone, or care what they think when they see us.

I watched my husband take out the trash in his wife beater shirt and scrub pants last week. He had a big ol' coffee stain on the front, too. And I'm sure they ladies were mortified by the sight. HDH drives an older model Ford Explorer because it's paid off and in relatively decent condition. He also wears nice suits. (not like another neighbor, though, who has suits hand-sewn for him and has "Made Especially For" tags put in them)

The neighbor's just don't know what to make of us. They don't understand my resistance to going to spa treatments once a week for face picking (it doesn't make them look any different, but they just HAVE to), having three memberships at various health clubs (because one isn't enough?) and the need to desperately get into the ritzy Country Club down the road.

Not us. Neither of us really care about all of that and it suits me just fine.

So, if you're looking for us this summer, we'll be out back running through the sprinklers and going for swims at the local public 'just been peed in' pool. We'll be researching preschool's at some point, but until then, we'll be right here, enjoying our little bit of different on Wisteria Lane.