Usually, when HDHusband isn't on weekend call, we will plan things to do: go to the park, check out The Childrens Museum, make dinners (okay, well, HE does this and I usually handle the wine - hard job, I know). Today, we thought we'd go check out Body World exhibit.

The day took a different turn of events.

HDHusband had operated on a patient last week, and the attempted fix, well, just didn't fix. "A poor outcome", they say. For the last few days, they tried whatever they could do to remedy what was going on, and nothing was working. Today, HDHusband had the task of going into meet with the family and tell them that there just wasn't anything more they could do.

The family asked that HDH stay with them and be there as their loved one passed away. HDH had to turn the dials and manage the meds so this person could die peacefully. He sat and listened as the wife talked about how much she loved her husband, and how much he had meant to her. And how they truly believed my husband did all he could to save him. And how they all had the greatest faith in my husband, and knew he tried his best. And this man - this otherwise strong and healthy man - hung on for an hour - for his family. His wife finally told him he could go, that she would be fine, and it was time he go to the other side, to the relatives that were waiting for him there.

And after a situation like this, how can you not think about your mortality? I've been thinking about how I didn't get to say goodbye to my dad, and how he died, really, in a reclining chair in my childhood home with the Wall Street Journal still in his hands. And how I wished I would have said more to him when he was alive. It's a silly wish, really, because I know he knew I loved him very much. And I hope he knows I still love him.

Or how I watched my grandpa die like this four years ago in a hospital room in New Mexico, and how sad I was for my grandma - who had loved this man more years than I'd been alive. And how it all came down to this last hour in a hospital room. I listened to my grandma tell my grandpa how much she loved him, and how she'd do just about anything to make it all better for him. And she fixed his sheets and she rubbed his feet and she stroked his head and said his name over and over again.

What would be on your lips to say to your loved one? And what is stopping you now?