I'm going to leave the commentating up to Fyrchk (regarding the funnies that happened on the cruise).

I will say a few things, though:

1. Fyrchk rocks. (like I needed to say that anyway??)

2. I sat next to a very icky man and his little boy on the plane from Denver to Orlando. He was writing a 'novel' (he was on Chapter 37). I happened to glance over and saw something about "... she didn't realize she was touching and rubbing herself while talking to Ronnie on the phone". This was enough for me. The flight attendant came by, said something to him about how she liked my necklace, and he poked me in the arm, saying, "Hey! I think she thinks we're married!" Never. Not if Jesus came down and asked me to himself. Not in a million years, Pervo.

3. Skip Freeport, Bahamas. You'll only see cheesy shit to buy and someone you like will slice their foot open on a coral/rock on the beach. You will be hounded for the hair braiding ("Braid your hair, precious??"), to refuse a thousand times, only to board the ship later and see the biggest redneck of all sporting some pretty braids on his rat tails. Fyrchk took a picture.

4. Do not order the lobster bisque. It will taste like asshole. Provided that's what asshole tastes like, I'm not sure. But, we took lots of great photos of our dinners!

5. On the way to the snorkeling adventure, we saw lots of celebrity homes, including Oprah's house, Lisa Marie Presley's house, Tom Cruise's and Barry Bond's. And people booed Bond's name. I laughed. And a sidenote: the guys were taking more pictures of Oprah's house that any other. Huh?

6. We saw a giant eel in the rocks while snorkeling in Nassau. The storm was moving in pretty fast, causing big currents and waves; therefore, pushing us awfully close to the thing. Neither Fyrchk or myself wanted to DIE, so we peddled away after she got a photo. And then we ate a shitty $8 cheeseburger while the sand blew in our faces. But, we did rock out to UB40 on the boat on our way back.

7. We learned while in Nassau that a 21-year-old guy had fallen off the ship docked next to us while out at sea a few nights before. That was just plain sad.

8. Fyrchk felt the ship moving almost always, and I didn't really feel it (or it didn't bug me) until the last 24 hours. We were in some icky waters. I almost fell over in the shower trying to shave my legs. I reported to Fyrchk that I thought we hit a bunch of dolphins or something.

9. When you disembark and are trying to find your luggage, you won't. You will be herded around like cattle and start getting pretty pissed off. Then once through customs, you will sit on a bus for 45 minutes while they laugh about a "bomb scare" going on on the ship you just got off of. Once at the airport, you'll stand by on two flights in hopes of getting home early before your son goes to bed. You'll finally get home and find your rear car tire almost as flat as your chest in the 6th grade. And you'll have to figure out how to fix this with an almost dead cell phone battery at 8:45 at night. You will manage to make it to the gas station, praying the whole time, and offering to give up whatever you need to give up in order to make it home. And while airing up the tire, you will see a giant nail in the most awkward position ever in your tire. You will count your lucky stars you made it home.

10. Had a great time, will leave a lot of the stories from HotPants over at Margaritaville to post.

I uploaded tons of photos on my Flickr account, so if you feel like purusing those, you are welcome to.

On the homefront:

My son's daycare lady is on vacation until next Wednesday, so I'm solo with the Bug. We will be going to the zoo (a lot). It's going to be in the 80's this week; I'm anticipating a lot of outdoor time.

We'll be leaving for Philly next week, too, so anything you can offer as far as what to do and places to eat, I'm all ears!