Yesterday was a busy frickin' day. I got to go all SECRET SQUIRREL (props to Laurie)!!

I was pulling out of my driveway when I saw the mail truck coming down our street. Got out of my car and decided to wait for him. I get my mail, it's a bunch of stupid shit. As I'm getting back into my car, I see this very, very familiar car meandering down our street, following our mail truck.

The car is stopping at various houses for minutes at a time, kind of stalling in the street, pulling over at strange places, going about a mile an hour.

What did yours truly do? I got in my fucking car and followed the bitch. Late model Crown Victoria or Lincoln Towncar. Black, four-day, pretty junky. And as I'm following it, the driver (an older black woman, big ass hair, maybe a wig, with a huge scarf wrapped around, lookin' all INNOCENT ... "Oh, look at me! I'm just out for a drive, casing your neighborhood! Don't mind me!") is obviously not paying attention that I am right behind her, watching her go up and down all of our streets.

I take down her plate number. Texas plate. I am kicking myself still for not having my cell with me then. I should have called the police. In fact, I stopped at a friend's house on that end of our neighborhood, hoping they'd be home so I could use their phone.

While following her, I'm remembering seeing this car once before, a few years ago. She was driving and a younger kid (teenager, maybe?) in the passenger seat. It wasn't long after that (week or two maybe?) that our mail was stolen out of our box.

I continue watching this car go up and down our streets for about 15 minutes. She finally stopped at one corner and just PARKED. I drove up next to her and gave her the world's nastiest STINK EYE I could muster. She looked around like she was waiting for the sweet Lord Jesus to come down and tell her something ... then turned the corner and left.

After calling the Non-Emergency number ('cause, um, she was LONG GONE and had I known she was gonna hang around for 15-20 minutes and make a Day of it, I would have called sooner), I emailed our little Neighborhood Watch group. Usually, the people on this list send ridiculous emails about, "Some dog just shit in my lawn! I'm taking REVENGE!!" and I ignore them.

This time, a fellow neighbor responds that they saw this car roughly five times last year, same license plate number, and described the Crazy Woman to a "T".

Pisses me off, really. GET A FUCKING REAL JOB. Why steal people's mail?? What the fuck, you inbred fucks?? Do you have nothing better to do?? I hope the find you and crucify your stupid ass for taking what is not yours.

And on a much more POSITIVE note: I had dinner with Kath last night. Had a great time catching up!!