My husband left the country. We drove him that crazy!! He went HERE for a meeting. At last email communication, HDHusband was about to go have an Italian dinner and hopefully - but likely - get lost a few times getting there.

HDToddler and I are throwing parties NON-STOP. I'm pounding the Pinot Grigio and he's knocking back the apple juice, sippy cup style.

While my husband is gone, the following things usually (or sometimes, don't) happen:

I don't bother doing the dishes. Even more than usual.

I sleep on his side of the bed because it smells like him (aaaaaaw, shucks!!).

But I wash all the sheets and pillow cases before he gets home so he has nice and un-stinky sheets to sleep on. I'm nice like that.

I turn on the fireplace in our room and sleep with all the covers on. Sometimes, I even wear socks to bed, too

I still shave my legs. And pits. And the nether regions.

I mess up and forget to take out the trash on Trash Day. Like today. (sorry, HDH)

I order as much take-out as humanly possible. Fuck that cooking shit!! (like I really do much of it anyway)

I dance around naked and do the Chicken Dance. (um ... not really)



He usually brings us back something of interest from wherever he's visiting. HDH has had all of these lovely trips since the birth of the KID, so I haven't been able to join him in London, Paris, Rome, Lisbon or Prague. FUCK THAT. Soon, I will make my way to Europe and it will not be the same.

The trip he's currently on was of great debate in our marriage. He left yesterday evening (Wed) and will be gone to Sunday afternoon. He wanted me to go. I would have loved to have gone, truly. But the idea of going, getting acclimated to the time difference, him being in meetings and working business dinners, then coming home, reacclimating with a toddler who wasn't on the wrong schedule ... I would have much rather had a root canal than gone through all of that.

He said I just didn't 'do anything hard' in life. I told him I'd break my foot off in his ass.

Today, HDH's email said (and I quote): "Turns out I won't have much time after all".

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYAH!

Men! Just LISTEN the first time to us!! SO. MUCH. EASIER.

Off to make pizza.

We're batchin' it after all.