I love stumbling across old photos.

This photo is of me and my first college roommate in 1994, in a small town in middle of Kansas. We had a lot in common. We were both music majors, both adopted. We had a great quirky sense-of-humor together. I adored her.





And then, in typical 18-year-old catty female behavior, we had a falling out. I moved into another room down the hall, and she stayed in our old room. A few weeks later, my dad died. And she found out she was pregnant. I moved away from school. She stayed to finish out the year, I believe, then moved away.



Ending a friendship was painful, but the way THAT friendship ended really bothered me for a lot of years, but we were both going through our own trials, we didn't fix what was broken, we didn't know how yet to reach out to the other during those times. We both hurt, but for entirely different reasons. I will always regret not being there for her more during that time in her life. I can respect, though, that I didn't have the insight or maturity to help like I would or could now.



Almost five years later, I sat down to write her an apology letter. I told her how badly I felt for what I'd done to her. It was silly, I said, and completely childish. I told her I didn't expect a letter in return, but wanted her to know that I hadn't meant what I'd said, and truly was hoping she, her husband and son were doing alright.



Some time passed, and I had a letter from her in my mailbox with a photo of their son on Santa's lap. In her letter, she accepted my apology and gave her own. She said, "We were young and immature. Please don't worry about it anymore!". I remember feeling a weight lift off my shoulders and my heart. We've stayed in touch since, sending our respective families Christmas cards and an occasional email during the year.


Life throws curves, and although it might steady out for a bit, the hits don't stop. I've learned to deal with them better. I take better care of my friendships. I have learned humility and the act of forgiveness. I learned, too, that in each curve, there's almost a new hand reaching out to help you up. Had it not been for that falling out, sadly, I wouldn't have met my second roommate - one who has been a champion in my life and someone I love dearly. She was the friend I needed to lean on when my dad died a few weeks later. She could hold me up, offer a hand, and good words.


I see this picture, and I see many things (other than those god awful ugly pants - my lord!). Most importantly, though, I've learned a lot, but I know I have a lot more to learn as I go ...


"I gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which I must stop and look fear in the face .... I say to myself, 'I've lived through this and can take the next thing that comes along' ....We must do the thing we think we cannot do." - Eleanor Roosevelt, former First Lady

Labels: friendship, love thursday, memories