After this post about my very bad, no good Sunday morning, my good buddy Kath came over that night. She brought me roses (beautiful, too!), booze and her friendship. What more can you ask for?

We had a great time.

I did a lot of this:



And after I'd had enough of that, I was inspired to do this:




All in all, I fan-tabulous evening. And certainly, one I needed after the shitty start to my Sunday!!

(PS The auto body shop is estimating repairs at around 3200 bucks ... yowza, and yay for insurance!)

Labels: friendship, healing, kath b, piano

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear."

Ambrose Redmoon

I've posted before about my best friend, ElJefe. I've posted a lot of times about him, but I am too lazy to look for anymore posts.

We've been friends since roughly 1996. I had moved to a town where I knew no one. He was one of the first people I met. I determined he was someone I didn't want to lose touch with, and so I made it my personal mission to stay in touch with him.

And more than a decade later, we talk almost daily. We've both gotten married. We've supported each other. We've kicked each other's asses. We've been good friends to each other.


Yesterday morning, he called to tell me a story. And he usually calls around 8:30 in the morning, weekends included, to tell me 'stories'. I wasn't prepared for this one:

He and his friend went to the river on Sunday. They got into some trouble on the river. They got tossed out of their boat at a place where there's a headgate - swirling water, big hole, that pretty much sucks you and everything into it. They were fighting against getting pulled in.

ElJefe said he looked over and saw his friend with "real tears" in his eyes. And he said, "I thought, 'Man, he thinks he's gonna drown! And then it occurred to me that no, he thinks I'M gonna drown! I looked back and saw I was five feet from the point of dying, and realized he was right'".

They got out, but watched everything get sucked into this hole: the boat, the oars, the cooler, everything. They said it took two hours to get the boat back out. It would suck the boat into the headgate for thirty minutes, and spit it out, and suck it back in. They said they recovered one oar and the boat, but everything else was gone and NEVER SEEN AGAIN.

Later, they found out a mutual friend's high school buddy had died there. Body never recovered.

That almost was ElJefe. His buddy told him later that they were going down together; he wasn't going to let him go. And I believe it truly. They have been friends since elementary school. They love each other like brothers. ElJefe has always said he has that friend and me - and we are the two best friends he has.

And I'm thankful on all accounts for the way Sunday turned out. I'm thankful they had enough upper body strength to get out. I'm thankful they had angels on their side. I am completely and totally thankful my best friend is still alive.

I told him I couldn't imagine a world without him in it, and I meant that sincerely. So thank you to the friend with him, thank you to whomever or whatever else reached out and kept my friend alive. He was meant for more than this.


ElJefe and My Bug, 2004

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival." ~C.S. Lewis

Labels: eljefe, friendship, love thursday

Young Hillary: Be sure to keep in touch C.C. ok?
Young C.C.: Well sure we're friends aren't we?



Dear ETK,

Remember, in the Fifth Grade, when you showed up for the class the first day at our school and my classmates were making fun of your outfit? I went and stood by you because I didn't want you to be alone (and TJ made fun of MY outfit, too, called me Elvis). We were best friends after that. There hasn't been a day in my life I don't count you as one of my best friends, and it doesn't matter how much time passes, how many days between phone calls or letters.

You are stronger than you ever give yourself credit for. Look at much you've had to handle in the last few years! It hasn't been easy, I know, and you've made it look effortless. You need to take the time to take care of yourself now. There's no harm in realizing you can't do it all alone, that your arms are tired of holding up the ceiling.

You'll get back on track. You'll figure out what you need to. We all fall down. And when you're down, that's when you call on your friends. I'm glad you called me. And I will always be your friend. I can't imagine a world without you in it, you know. I will always champion you and I'll never not be by your side.

"A faithful friend is a strong defense: and he that hath found such an one hath found a treasure." ~Ecclesiasticus 6:14

I love you like a sister, you know,
Me

Labels: friendship, love thursday

I love stumbling across old photos.

This photo is of me and my first college roommate in 1994, in a small town in middle of Kansas. We had a lot in common. We were both music majors, both adopted. We had a great quirky sense-of-humor together. I adored her.





And then, in typical 18-year-old catty female behavior, we had a falling out. I moved into another room down the hall, and she stayed in our old room. A few weeks later, my dad died. And she found out she was pregnant. I moved away from school. She stayed to finish out the year, I believe, then moved away.



Ending a friendship was painful, but the way THAT friendship ended really bothered me for a lot of years, but we were both going through our own trials, we didn't fix what was broken, we didn't know how yet to reach out to the other during those times. We both hurt, but for entirely different reasons. I will always regret not being there for her more during that time in her life. I can respect, though, that I didn't have the insight or maturity to help like I would or could now.



Almost five years later, I sat down to write her an apology letter. I told her how badly I felt for what I'd done to her. It was silly, I said, and completely childish. I told her I didn't expect a letter in return, but wanted her to know that I hadn't meant what I'd said, and truly was hoping she, her husband and son were doing alright.



Some time passed, and I had a letter from her in my mailbox with a photo of their son on Santa's lap. In her letter, she accepted my apology and gave her own. She said, "We were young and immature. Please don't worry about it anymore!". I remember feeling a weight lift off my shoulders and my heart. We've stayed in touch since, sending our respective families Christmas cards and an occasional email during the year.


Life throws curves, and although it might steady out for a bit, the hits don't stop. I've learned to deal with them better. I take better care of my friendships. I have learned humility and the act of forgiveness. I learned, too, that in each curve, there's almost a new hand reaching out to help you up. Had it not been for that falling out, sadly, I wouldn't have met my second roommate - one who has been a champion in my life and someone I love dearly. She was the friend I needed to lean on when my dad died a few weeks later. She could hold me up, offer a hand, and good words.


I see this picture, and I see many things (other than those god awful ugly pants - my lord!). Most importantly, though, I've learned a lot, but I know I have a lot more to learn as I go ...


"I gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which I must stop and look fear in the face .... I say to myself, 'I've lived through this and can take the next thing that comes along' ....We must do the thing we think we cannot do." - Eleanor Roosevelt, former First Lady

Labels: friendship, love thursday, memories

"The loneliest woman in the world is a woman without a close woman friend." ...

but how lucky I am not to be lonely!



My trip to visit the beautiful and funny Fyrchk in DC this weekend has been postponed. Fyrchk lost her uncle today to cancer, and as we all know, cancer is a dirty bitch. She will be spending the weekend instead with family and attending the funeral of a wonderful man.

My Love Thursday today is in honor of my wunnerful friend, Fyrchk (and if you want to see a bit of Fyrchk, that's her hot sex foot in the middle).

Mama, I want to reach through the wires and hug you something silly! I feel so very bad for you. Your uncle was an incredible man and put up an valiant fight against an unforgiving disease.

I am so lucky to have collided with you in the most unusual way and to have been lucky enough to have forged down this road of Friendship with you. You make my heart happy and crack up my soul! I'm looking forward to many more years of this friendship we share (skipping over maybe Wee Jimmy and the "I'm So Pretty" crap).

Lots of love to you, Mama!!

~ HDW

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares. - Henri Nouwen"

Labels: friendship, fyrchk, love thursday