The following is a rebuttal to the "frenzy" of criticism regarding HDH (aka BBG, and now, Mr. Velcro) and his choices in household tools. As a quick insight, you need to know he's rebutting A LOT of the crap from comments from, oh, ages ago. Enjoy, kids:

The kitchen is all about function. Just like the OR. No one goes to the nice restaurant and asks to go see the kitchen. They just want well prepared meals. If the cook pisses on the floor, well whatever. If I decide the pepper grinder would be best velcroed to the cabinet (or up my ass for that matter), then as the primary chef in this fucking kitchen - that is where it shall be.

The baby needed to learn to use the pacifier - ergo lacing it to his face made perfect sense. Ala crocodile hunter. Kids got to learn. When I was a kid...blah blah, yada yada.

Finally, when you are burn't in the AM and looking at several big vascular cases - you need your fresh Joe. Now, if the coffee grinder is jammed - that is a crisis. As a surgeon, I realize crises require sacrifices - so unfortunately - the baby's (who is already balding I might add) hairbrush just got a new job description. Desperate times etc.

PS He just notified me that Martha Stewart left him a message offering him a job. She found the velcro idea to be "totally kicking". It will be in the next catalog. There will be velcroed pots, pans, spice rack - all fucking velcroed. Everything is velcro.

Peace out, bitches.