........ but in it.

My baby brother and I are adopted. Both since birth or shortly thereafter. We've never not known this; our parents always talked to us and told us that someone was very unselfish in their love for us. They gave us away so we could have a better life. I never doubted this, and I still don't doubt this.

People often ask me, "What is like? How do you feel? Do you think you'll ever meet them? Do you want to? Will you look?" and I have my standard answer. I wouldn't look because I wouldn't want to interrupt their lives. What if they went on to have a family and didn't tell their spouses? What if they say "No"? (Someone once said, "Then it would be like you were abandoned all over again" ... I wasn't, we weren't ... )

So, tonight, my brother called. To know my brother, he has a good heart but has made stupid decisions in his life. When he was little, he had so many head injuries. It explains a lot about him now. He's not a bad kid by any means.

He was talking along about something to do with another phone call he was waiting on - then said, ".... and it was National-something-or-other. First, I thought they were trying to find me, you know, like a creditor. I got plenty of that shit I'm sure!" (and that's true)

Then the woman said, "Are you the son of ____ and ____?" He answered that he was. And then, the intermediary from the search agency informed him his birthmother was looking for him.

It just makes me cry writing this.

She has two sons. She knows his birthfather still. He was three sons and a daughter. He was given more information, but said he was almost too shocked to hear any of it at all. He said they told him to expect a letter from her soon and he could respond if he chose to.

I know my birthparent's are out there. I knew his were, too. But it's an entirely different thing to know they have found my baby brother and want to know more about him. He said he couldn't wait to tell them he had a son, too.

I'm happy for him. I am proud of who is working on becoming. And I know they will love him as much as I have.

Love you.