Green Apple Martini: Fairy Tales Third Edition

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Fairy Tales Third Edition

(Today's post brought to you by FreshAirLover and the letter "C")

Previously on Green Apple Martini's:
At that precise moment...

I've been ringing the doorbell for 10 minutes now. Where is everyone? I have to pee.

*Ding dong. Ding dong.*

The door opens just as I start to hold myself because I almost tinkled in my tutu and there is DD at the door in the same tutu as me. “You adjusted okay down there”, he asks. “Yes, I have to tinkle.” Too preoccupied with having to wee to ask him what's up with the tutu, I run into the house, past Laurie doing Jane Fonda's workout and head straight into the bathroom and slip on the wet floor. Ouch. I finally reach the toilet and as I'm finishing up I think to myself, “Was Laurie's cute ass dressed like a pirate?”

I come out of the bathroom and Captain Cutie is giving me a strange hand signal and I stop to look at her, perplexed. She twisting at her waist and stretching her torso. I look over at DD and he's brushing something off his tutu. When he finally looked up, I noticed that he was winking at me. I was winking back at him and he started shaking his head and then he puts his finger to his lips for me to be quiet. I'm wondering what the hell is going on. I'm hungry. Then I hear it.
The strange chanting is coming from the corner and I see Fyrchk there. What is she chanting? Oh, there's something in her hand. I look at DD, who's still winking by the way, and make my “What the hell's going on?” face. He shrugs. Just as I'm about to sit down and watch Frychk, there's a huge crash. Laurie is hopping on her one foot and making faces. She hops into the kitchen and we follow her.

“Shank the f***ing chair.” She sits down still rubbing her foot.

“What in the world is going on?” I ask the two of them. “And why are you wearing a tutu, DD?”

Still winking, he says “Why are you wearing a tutu?”

“Cause someone told me this is a fairytale and I decided to dress like a fairy?” I pull out my wand from my bag and twirl.

“Oh for crying out loud...” Laurie is giving me the nutjob look. “Where are the Doritos? I'm starving.”

“No, we can't eat at a time like this. We have to find out what's going on with Fyrchk.” DD says determined.

“Seriously, what's up with the tutu?” I wink back at him and he shakes his head. Pointing to his eye, he says “I have soap in my eye.”

My heart fell a little because I love to flirt. “Don't you think I'm pretty?” And I twirled again.

Both of them rolled their eyes and Laurie chugged the rest of her beer, burped, and asked “Do you want to get scissor-kicked, Fresh?” I stopped twirling and sank down into a chair.

We then hear a loud bang in the living room and hear Fyrchk singing. “I think she's on the move”, Laurie says. And then we hear Fyrchk moving up the stairs.

Laurie grabs the bag of Doritos, her can of beer and starts out of the kitchen, DD and I right behind her. As we start up the steps, we hear more singing and giggling and when we get to the top of the stairs we find Fyrchk.....

Stay tuned for tomorrow's stunning conclusion...

Episode recounted by fyrchk
28 of you told me what you really thought!

Name: Hot Dr's Wife!
Location: The Rockies

I am the wife of a surgeon, a mother of a three-year-old son, a sister to a redneck brother, the daughter of a dad I miss daily. Colorado native, raised on a ranch, been on a cattle drive and driven many combines. I am always barefoot, I love my friends, and I insist Happy Hour start at 5:00 pm and not a minute later.

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