People often ask how HDH and I met. A very long story short, I knew of him while working at the hospital. One of my girlfriends thought he was pretty cute, mentioned this, and I happened to run across him at the salad bar once. Smiled, grabbed my extra croutons, and left.

Months went by, and I landed a temporary job in his office. Again, not really interested in him 'like that'. I had a boyfriend. He had a girlfriend (read: pyscho crazy woman). I didn't do much work at all for him, but occasionally became victim to some of his shit.

Examples:

HDH would just leave various 'samples' of blood clots in jar on your desk. You'd come back from lunch, and a clot would be staring back at you.

HDH had a thing for interesting world music, so he'd leave CD's here and there for me to listen to (I thought it was cool then, but after listening to Pakistani chant music non-stop during the last six years, it gets to a person).

HDH would tell you a story ... about ANYTHING ... and have to make reference to sports, war or a random movie you'd never seen (Dead Ringers, for instance). And he STILL does this .... only now, after six years together, I interject with "GET TO THE POINT!!".

This evening, we are driving to one of our favorite Mexican food places in town. As we pass a movie theater in that area, he makes mention of seeing Blair Witch Project there with Psycho ExGirlfriend (don't know about her? read about her right here)

And this prompts a memory from HDH I'd almost forgotten ...

When I worked in that office, there happened to be an escaped crazy man on the loose. He'd busted out of the officer's control and had decided to disappear in our building. The odds of him being around where I was was slim, but if you know me at all, you know my luck really fucking sucks.

The office manager called and asked HDH to PLEASE stay in the office with me, that she wanted doors locked and us to hang out until there was an all-clear.

Well, being the complete and total gentleman my husband (now) is(n't), he left to take a piss, probably. So, I'm sitting in the office, hearing nothing out in the halls because EVERYONE IS ON LOCKDOWN, thinking, "Crap, that guy is somewhere close and I have no one in here with me!"

More than a few minutes go by, and finally there is this eerie sounding 'thunk thunk' at the door. A pause. Followed by a man's voice saying, "Jooooooooooooooooooosssssssssssssssssssh!".

Fucking HDH.

He'd just seen Blair Witch and thought it'd be great to use that line while I pissed myself in the office. Had I known what I know now, I would have hauled my size 9's up and scissorkicked him in the balls.

But this is my husband. I married a smartass.

Eh.

I guess he did, too.

And for the record: A long, long time passed before HDH asked me to dinner. I hadn't been working in that office for a while. He had long since dumped Pyscho for not flushing the potty and being, generally, a nasty human being, and I'd been dumped by my boyfriend for not knowing enough important people in the city.

I should have introduced them ....

Labels: hdh-isms, memories