I have forgotten what's important, that's what I've decided.

And I'm not entirely sure how I got from there to here, either. At some point, there was an exit I took in my head and heart and it landed me here, not there. And it isn't that I've become depressed or unhappy, if you will.

It's not that I'm opposed to detours. You happen upon unexpected things when you take the unanticipated route. I can say that this has happened to me - many times before in my life, and certainly now. I've encountered many things I hadn't planned on. When my dad died in '95, for instance, I was derailed from what I'd planned on and found myself in the company of friends I'd never known had it been for the bad. For instance, meeting my best friend, ElJefe.

This is a different kind of detour.

Best described, some of these moments equate to pulling into a little known diner and having the world's best apple pie you'd never known existed, had you not pulled into that lot and just gave the place a whirl. Other moments are more like getting stranded in a blizzard with a busted tire and no cell service.

I'm learning to appreciate both of those kinds of moments.

This time requires soul-searching. I'm challenging myself. I'm not sweeping away the questions this time; I want the answers. I'm finding myself picking up post cards a long the way and placing them in the boxes I keep in my heart. Tucking those moments away, keeping them safe. It's nice to have something to yourself now and then.

I'm sure I'll hit the main highway again and be better for having had said experiences. I'll talk about them someday with my girlfriends when we sit on the porch twenty years from now, sharing with each other the days that once challenged us most, the ones that made us stronger. We'll have our martini's and toast to the straight and narrow, to the detours and those danged bumps in the road, and knowing the latter was what shaped us more than the former.

Until then, I'm on that detour. I'm looking for a reason why I'm on this detour, and for the lessons I'm meant to learn.

There's a lesson in everything, I tell myself, even if it's one you have been taught before, but you have failed to learn.

Labels: detours, lessons, stronger