We went to a wedding over the weekend. It was a fancy-shmancy hotel south of Denver and north of Pueblo, possibly in the Springs, possibly at this snazzy place. I went down on Friday night to see friends, and stayed at the Marriott up the road. $400 bucks for one night at that place? Nah. That's alright. HDHusband drove down on Saturday. He valets in the front of the hotel. I have valeted on the other side.

After the wedding, we're standing in the lobby, chit-chatting with the other guests, and a man in a suit walks up to my husband and introduces himself as "hotel security". He says something about 'a small bump' to HDH's vehicle, it's nothing major, and as soon as the reception is over, we can take care of the paperwork.

Yoiks.

My husband's vehicle is about ten years old, has a lot of miles, so my husband said, "Eh. I'm sure it will be fine. It's an older rig anyway".

The guy looks puzzled.

After the reception, we call the number given to us and wait for the security guy at the front entrance. It's taking him forever to show up. About the time my husband starts threatening "If he's not here in TWO MINUTES ...", the guy comes walking through the front door, apologizing.

Where was he?

In the WEST LOT.

With MY CAR.

No wonder the security guy looked at HDH like he was crazy outside of the wedding ... who refers to their Audi A6 as 'not a big deal'? We follow NervousSecurityDude over to the west lot and see the damage. Somehow, when the valet yoho's were backing into the space, it hit the curb and put a fist-sized dent in the under bumper. Really not noticeable unless you look under, but still, there's a dent in the Silver Bullet.

The guy looks really nervous as we're doing the paperwork and handing over insurance information. Once HDH sees it's okay, he heads off for his vehicle. I stand there with NervousGuy who is apologizing all over himself.

I said to him, "Look, if this is the worst thing that happens to me in my life, then I'm pretty lucky. It's not great that it happened, but there's certainly far worse that has or will happen."

He thanked me, apologized again, handed me the business card of the financial person, and walked away.

I'm getting in my car, look over to see a valet guy standing there, looking annoyed that I'm not walking over to, what, tip him??? For busting up my car? He gives me a half-ass wave and looks pissed as I leave.

Honestly.

Only tip he's getting is this: You suck at parking cars, ass.