We have a friend who delivers part-time for ACertainDeliveryCompanyThatWeAllKnow. He was over to the house last week and brought a long a copy of a complaint letter a customer had filed (not related to him directly).

The Crazy Letter Writers apparently were peeved that said company was delivering packages to them. They called it 'trespassing' - and they said 'trespassing' in the letter at least 15 times.

Hmmm.

So, let me get this straight:

You order something - maybe in their case, a Dictionary (seriously, bad, bad spelling all over the board).

And the folks sending the book to you uses this delivery company. And when they come to ring your bill, you are pissed? You threaten no more contact with said company, for deliveries or otherwise? (and what's otherwise? Like do they come up to your door just to chat? My delivery guy drops our shit off and runs for his truck. It could be my makeup-less face or my crazy stay-at-home-mom-look, but still, he runs).

Makes sense. The trespassing and all. (coughcrazyasheyullcough)

But the kicker was how they signed the letter.

Not "Sincerely". Nooooooooooooo! How silly!! That would be too professional and we can't have that!

It was signed "With extreme irritation and total damnation".

You've gotta be pretty pissed off if you have to sign a letter that way. From now on, I'm using that in every greeting, every Christmas letter, every birthday card - everything.

With extreme irritation and total damnation,
HotDoctorWife, Esq.