I had my first kiss at the County Fair.

I choose to remember this kiss the way most little girl's would ... sparks and fireworks, you know.

I had the biggest crush on this guy. I mean, it was just plain ridiculous. For almost two years, I'd followed him around like a little puppy dog. He was about three years older than me, from a different school, and oh-so-charming. He made me laugh, he was quirky: he was mine.

The County Fair is the huge social event in a small town like ours. All these towns join together, stomp around in cow shit, ride the Ferris Wheel and stuff our faces with funnel cake. You know, total romance, baby.

What do I want to remember??

I remember sitting in the front seat of his car, laughing, and he leaned over and kissed me. Softly and gently on the lips. I remember a song by Mr. Big playing on the radio, and I remember turning into a complete pile of mush. It was innocent and lovely.

What really happened?

We'd been on the Rock-o-Plane (a ferris wheel where the boxed in seats can be moved back and forth as you go round and round). I'd been riding with him and laughing my ass off. And then it happened ....

Someone BARFED on us. Someone couldn't handle the Rock-o-Plane and blew chow all over us. I was covered in funnel cake and burrito. He laughed even harder, flicking pieces of barf off our legs. I don't remember it getting in our hair, but I remember his shirt was covered in someone's yack.

We went back to his car so he could change shirts. I hung-out in the front seat, totally appalled that I was covered in puke.

And he kissed me.

Still, I was a pile of mush in the front seat, but covered in it as well.

Only me, folks. Only me.